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Monday, 07 January 2008

yesterday i discovered that i am darker than danny. i'm actually quite depressed about that. so contrary to ignorant californians' belief....you do not become darker under the texas sun than the california sun. it is the same sun. as a matter of fact danny has become quite pale recently. i noticed it especially yesterday. so weird. i was staring at him on our long drive to austin and noticed how pale he looked. i kept comparing the shade of brown of his arm to mine. then my face to his. then him compared to the rest of the koreans at church. and then came to the daunting realization that he's pale as heck. i am so jealous! i have been avoiding the sun like it was the devil for years. lathering on sunblock with spf 50, wearing ridiculous large brimmed hats, riding cars in abnormally odd positions just to avoid the sun, walking with my face facing the opposite direction from the direction in which i am walking...the list goes on and on. then to discover that my once nearly black husband is paler than me.....it's devastating. i even checked where the sun don't shine. married people can do that. it's been confirmed. i am darker than danny. he's now prettier than me..... he is not the man i married.

Monday, 31 December 2007

cry baby

i don't know why i cry so easily. i noticed that i cry every time i talk about my feelings. i cry when i'm frustrated. when i'm mad...when i'm sad....when i'm happy. i'm just a really emotional person. pretty dang sensitive i think. this characteristic of mine embarasses me. i hate it when i cry in front of people. i feel like people will judge me and accuse me of being overly sensitive. and maybe i am, but i also feel as though that people should be sensitive to the fact that everyone has different sensitivity levels. and in turn i should make more of an effort to just brush things off and take it like a man.
anyway....what prompts me to write about my most embarassing attribute after i haven't written in so long? well today is the last day of my visit back in so. cal. yesterday my visit back at church was so....i don't even know how to describe it. it just felt so good to be amongst friends again. i really didn't realize how much i missed everyone until i was actually amongst them...laughing, talking, joking. i went to the small group meeting just for old times sake and listening to everyone go around talking about what they've gained through their devotions really made me realize for the first time how much i've missed the deep conversations and friendships that are so priceless. i felt like my entire life i've been struggling to find acceptance and wanting to just be a part of something. i feel like i had that for the first time at Berean and it was so short-lived. when it came around to me to share i cried....again. i wish i wouldn't cry. i just became overwhelmed with emotion. i wanted to be around them and i didn't want the visit to end. not that things in texas are so terrible. but it just takes time to adjust and meet new friends. will we meet people that we'll have deep friendships with? we don't know for sure and that scares me.
i have faith though that God truly was answering my prayers when he sent us to texas. other than the lack of friends our move to texas has been a blessing. i feel excited about discovering what God has planned for us there.

Monday, 13 August 2007

butt crack

do you think if our butt crack looked any different it would look weird? what is the purpose of the crack? to make a place for the hole i suppose. but then does there really need to be a crack to be a hole? ok so then i suppose we need the cushion to sit on which causes the crack. but then does the hole need to be at that specific spot? why do we need to sit? because our feet can't hold us up for that long? isn't it interesting that our entire body works in such harmony? our eyes are aligned perfectly with our ears for our glasses to hang on and our noses in the perfect spot for the glasses to sit on. did God create us that way or did man figure out how to adjust? Or...maybe God just gave the man the ability and intelligence to adjust to make glasses that suited our faces. do you think He laughs at us? we're doing such silly things all the time. like making pants. where the heck did that idea come from?!